My boyfriend can’t satisfy my fantasy of having rough sex with a macho man

Recently, my boyfriend and I were discussing what would really turn us on. For years I’ve had this fantasy of a rough sex with a really macho man. I’ve had one or two meaningful relationships, but the men I’d met were not really macho.

Least of all, my current boyfriend who’s somehow weedy! Now he wants us to act out my fantasy, but his physique won’t turn me on in that way. How can I put him off!

Dejoke, by e-mail. Dear Dejoke,

Fantasy isn’t reality. So you don’t need your boyfriend to be a genuinely strong man to act out your sexy dreams. Simply close your eyes and pretend.

You never know – he may be more powerful than he looks! But if you’re really sure this won’t work, explain to him that although you like to fantasise when you’re alone, you don’t need or want to act it out. That will let you off the hook and spare your feelings.

Vanguard